Help our friend Hamed learn idiomatic English by adding your own expressions here.

He prefers old fashioned expressions, so expressions you've only ever heard your grandparents use are perfect.

That being said, this is your chance to shape how our Persian friend speaks for the rest of his life, so have fun!

"It's curtains for you, see."
"That's the bees knees!"


Try to add your expressions to the best-fitting category below. There is a catch-all category at the bottom.

Expression Meaning
Boy howdy! A positive exclamation of excitement
Fuck me sideways with a rusty chainsaw! An exclamation of annoyance
Horsefeathers! Similar to "Crap!"
Well, I'll be

Exclamation of calm surprise

I'll be a monkey's uncle! That's ridiculous!
That's a spicy meat-a-ball-a.
(In bad Italian accent)
Describes something that is spicy or hot (including figuratively, like an attractive person).
Yowza An exclamation of surprise and impression. Similar to Wow, Jinkies, "Oh, my word," and Holy Crap!

Expression Meaning / Example
It's curtains for you, see? I'm going to kill you, directly or indirectly.
_____ you and the horse you rode in on. e.g. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

Expression Positive /
Cheese Dick N You're a cheese dick.

Expression Meaning Usage
The bee's knees The best That Arnold Schwarzenegger fellow is the bee's knees!
The cat's pyjamas The best Same as above
Whizbang The best at doing something Nicky's a whizbang artist.
Hole in the wall A small, dirty place to go for food/drink. I know a hole in the wall near here where we can get a drink.
Malarkey Nonsense Everything that politician says is malarkey!
Shindig An event or party Are you heading out to the company shindig this friday?
Goose egg Zero The Canadians have 3 goals, and the Leafs... a big fat goose egg.

Wordplay JokesEdit

My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.

Q: What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison?
A: A small medium at large.

Q: Why was six scared of seven?
A: Because seven "ate" nine.

I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

A neutron walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer. How much will that be?" The bartender responds, "For you? No charge!"

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

I'm thinking of becoming a hitman... I heard they make a killing.

I met a one-legged woman outside of a club the other day. She was a bouncer.

A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don't get it.

Q: Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
A: Because it’s pointless!

Q: What's the difference between America and yogurt?
A: If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture.

A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.

Q: Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
A: Because he ate his pizza before it was cool.

Q: What do you call a piece of cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho cheese.

A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve
They feel a slight precipitation.
"I think it’s raining," says the man.
"No, it’s snowing," replies the woman.
"How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"
"Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.
The man turns to his wife with a smile. “See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

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